life family change survival

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Where has she gone?

“Goodnight Mummy Lovey”.  That was what I would say to her at bedtime.  I loved her so much.  She loved me too I thought.  If she had loved me, how could she just stop?   That is what she did though.  Mummy Lovey turned into “Mummy, please love me”.  Which turned into “Mummy, how could you”?  Followed by “Where has Mummy gone”?  In her place was a cold, distant, and sometimes cruel, woman. Not just to me but also my younger sibling.


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Well it didn’t have to change.  It was his choice to make the change.  That change affected so many more people than just him. His selfishness caused devastation.  Was it selfish though?   I thought so for many years.  Now I am not sure.  Now I can see where he was coming from.  Save your self by leaving, or stay and make yourself unhappy and the others plod along none the wiser, but happier than they would have been if you had left.  The effect it had on her?  That fateful day was to cause an emotional decline. Actually it was more of a standstill.  Ceased.  Cut-off.  Gone. For a long, long, time.